The system needs to be changed

I have made 2 complaints this week as systems need to be changed so that other parents aren't left more devastated when they are already grieving. My first complaint was to the crematorium.

 I wanted to hold and cuddle Ava one last time so we had organised this at the last minute before she was cremated. I was devastated to see that she wasn't in her angel gown. Instead she had been dressed in a knitted dress (the dress was nice but had no meaning for us). I asked where her angel gown was which had been donated to us by the Angel Gown organisation as this is what she had been dressed in when we had left her at the hospital. After some phone calls it was discovered and we were told that her gown had been "disposed of" as it was contaminated. I was sad at the time but then later felt angry and incredibly betrayed, as we would never had known this if we hadn't chosen to see her again before she was cremated.

Parents need to be informed about this and im sure other mothers of an angel baby would tell you they would happily go and undress their angel baby and take what was "contaminated" themselves if given the option. When I posted about this on my support group FB page I heard from other mothers who had had the same thing happen and then other mothers are now left wondering what their baby was dressed in if they hadn't organised one last hold with their children. Of course the crematorium blamed the hospital where Ava was sent too for her autopsy to be done.


So today I made a complaint to that hospital where she was sent to from the hospital she was born at (which was wonderful). I said that they need to ensure that procedures and policies are looked at and changed. They should have put her Angel Gown aside so it wasn't "contaminated". I hate to think what they did to it to be contaminated in the first place.

These people need to realise that we don't have many memories and things that were given to our children are precious. If I had known that Ava wasn't to be cremated in her Angel Gown Wrap, then I wouldn't have sent her to have her autopsy dressed in it. I would have given it to the crematorium or funeral home to be dressed in after, or I would have kept it myself.

Angel Gowns heard of my story and are going to make me another one, but they understand it is not the same as Ava wasn't wearing it.
 Some of the most precious things I now own would be of no value to anyone in this world, but her
dress, her beanie, her nappy, her blankets are worth more than gold.

I hope changes are made, as some good needs to come from Ava's death.